“Here we go…” I hear you say…”Another one of those social media posts featuring crystals, angel feathers and purple velvet!” #iamagoddess #enlightenment #soulfood
Well.. it’s actually a bit deeper than that for me. You see, it’s about owning up to being myself. Like any “coming out”… I imagine. It has only taken forty years and in fact I am still a ‘work in progress’, but perhaps it’s the next bold step after half a lifetime of learning to speak out and allow my inner presence to be seen. I have grappled with the fear of being judged, ridiculed, mocked or plain misunderstood but ultimately I am here writing these words as I have come to know that each time we share our soul’s true purpose, not only do we make things easier on ourselves, we can encourage others on their own path of acceptance.
So here goes…
I talk to dead people.
I’ve always known I was a bit different. As a young child, I would question why I was born into an exceptionally traditional Catholic household and never for one moment accepted the fear based dogma it promoted. The stoicism with which I rejected teachings encouraging shame and guilt, and which promoted the terrors of damnation by a vengeful God, was clearly a reflection that I had not forgotten where I had come from. As still a young soul, I could very much feel the presence of souls that crossed over, angels, spirit guides, higher dimensional beings. I could feel their loving guidance, see them visit me in the quiet of night and I understood their intent was purely loving and forgiving.
My childhood was a difficult one and family dysfunction overshadowed every moment of my waking day. The tensions of a violent and temperamental home life, were exacerbated for me. For one, as I was seeing, sensing, feeling and hearing energy all around me, my sensitivity to the negativity and volatility at home was heightened, to the extent I would suffer panic attacks in the classroom and be sent outside to “calm down”. Secondly, I just always felt ‘different’ from the other children but never knew why. I never really connected the dots or understood what was going on. This continued into my teenage years and made day to day existence very troublesome. Although I rallied against this harmful indoctrination of my parents, concocted under the guise of ‘religion’, the distractions of survival meant slowly my connection with “Spirit” disappeared.
Fast forward to the past five years and I found myself lost very far down the rabbit hole. I was experiencing a massive conflict between the feeling based person within and the cut-throat, money driven world of real estate in which I was working. You see, I had started to regain all that I had lost as a child. I could feel deeply into each person who crossed my path, and whilst this contributed to my ability to create rapport with my clients, it left me very vulnerable to hurt and confusion created by experiences surviving in an ego based world.
I also began to hear and see loved ones who have passed on and gained powerful messages to share with those closest to me, my partner and children, to help them understand the relationships they have with the living. Messages of love and recognition for my friends and clients are also passed through me. I have been visited by those on the other side who have passed away in terribly sad circumstances both near and far from my home in Melbourne, with messages for their loved ones. I am learning to accept that on some occasions all I can do is act as a sounding board for these beautiful souls who truly do simply rejoice in finding someone who can hear their story.
And so the pain of my childhood had returned. I was living a life in which my sensitivity was not championed…in fact it was chastised. I was biting my tongue and editing my conversations under the guise of “surviving” in a world which I had trained myself to be a part of. I did exactly what I had done as a child and was hiding all this wondrous understanding of the veil that exists between us and our loved ones who have passed on, in the closet.
Call me “Woo Woo” if you must!
So for me to live an authentic life that reflects my personal experiences of connection with the spirit world and embark upon a role in which I champion others to be true to themselves, I have really had no choice but to come clean. I have started the journey though through regular meditation, education, connection with like minded souls and teachers of mediumship, plus by making some life choices to get healthier and happier; and as a result these connections have started to deepen even further.
Most importantly of course is the shift in the connection with myself. By embarking back upon a journey back to my truth, I hope to inspire more people to find the courage to shine their own lights brighter.